‪Shout out to everyone who is graduating this May. No matter how long it took, you made it! You should be proud!

Best part of summer? Three months worth of alcohol driven amnesia.

Never fall in love with a Pirate. The only thing that'll catch you is the rolling ocean beneath their plank.

You're not a true Pirate till you've puked downtown and you've had a rant published.

I want the Django, hold the jango.

ECU really should offer pole-dancing classes.

Does the kid who eats his Chick-fil-A cup know he's freaking everyone out? If you didn't know now you do!

Just got stuck in a marathon of reading Pirate Rants at work. Works as a great time waster for us real world folks. Note to students: DO NOT GRADUATE!!!

If I could lose 1 lb every time I walk up them stairs at Brewster, I would be skinny by now.

Took a nice long chug of vodka out of a water bottle left over from this weekend in the middle of class. Swallowing has never been harder.

To the person who stole my USB from the computer lab that had everything I needed for my finals on it; you don't pull something that low-down on someone during finals. Have fun with that karma.

What's the ratio of answered to ignored that has to be met before you'll stop texting me?

To the girl I met at the bar that ordered four shots and made me pay, you owe me $20. I gladly take cash, Pirate Bucks or a 24 pack of Bud Light.

Don't know if you winked at me or your eye just twitched...I'll go with the wink though.

That awkward moment a strange guy comes up to you, puts his arm around you and tries to share your umbrella...

Did the sorority girls get a group rate on monograms? Having trouble remembering your name?

Just a few exams and then summer...I mean summer school.

Yes I 'forgot your name' but it was loud in the club and the game was on when you told me.

If she doesn't get excited when all the good Cartoon Network shows get put on Netflix, she's too young for you bro.

I think that it's awful how people are treating Lance Armstrong. The man won numerous Tour de France's while on drugs. When I'm on drugs, I can't even find my bike.

@the 'Coolest, Hottest' girl that is 20 and never had a boyfriend, come to Olive Garden and ask for The Captain. I'm there every weekend night.

To the girl who posted about being the hottest girl her friends know but has never had a real kiss, I'm a really nice guy.

I wish people would stop treating the janitors like crap. You never know that could be you after you graduate.

Some of you have really hideous tattoos. Winter please come back!

I really want to start a Golden Girls fan club. Anyone with me?

I was too stoned to remember 4/20. Rain check on 5/20?

Females, it doesn't matter how great your body looks; if you don't know how to smile, no guy will approach you.

I think I’ve drank my weight in Nyquil to get through this break up.

When your professor sends your class an email ending with “may the odds be ever in your favor.” #scared or #excited

One week of finals left until I’m a senior…brb going to cry and then vomit.

I imagine that sex with Carrie Underwood is quite pleasurable.

Along with the extra picnic tables, I think we should have some swing sets on campus.

To the underclassmen: take at least six years to graduate. This whole finding a job thing is more crippling than the mass amounts of debt falling on top of me. Don’t be in a rush to get out of here.

I have 500 Pirate Bucks left. All the hot girls, dinner’s on me.

If I wanted bad Internet, I would have stayed at home, don’t I pay for this?

Beggars in New York City make $100,000 a year. I have a job and currently am scrounging under my couch for change to afford the dollar menu.

Time to start the season of real tans and stop spending money on faking it.

The dryer smelled like weed after my pothead roommate did their laundry. Didn't your mom teach you to check your pockets first?

SHAME ON YOU. UGLY BABY JUDGES YOU.

If Obama wouldn’t have been a politician he probably would have been a dank comedian.

Picking girls based on how they look is like picking your cereal based on color instead of taste.

Gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs.

If you plant a block of Ramen noodles in the ground and water it with Bud Light, it will grow into an ECU student.

I think we all wanted to grow up to be Ferris Bueller, but we all grew up to be Cameron Frye.

Girls are like spaghetti, they’re straight until you get them wet.

If you are having a bad day, just picture a T-Rex trying to make the bed. You’re welcome.

This whole going to MWF classes on a Tuesday deserves some extra credit on my finals.

I can’t believe people run for fun, I barely get out of bed to pee.

I don’t know why people are surprised that I have trust issues when sometimes taking a nap just makes you more tired.

You are treating me like Judas and judging me like Judy.

Would it be acceptable to drink in the library through hell week? No? Well I’m doing it anyway.

Cory and Topanga gave me unrealistic expectations for my love life.

I’ve been in college for five years and I still don’t know what escrow means.

Rain or shine, I’ll be a Pirate till the day I die.

Here’s to the end. Drink up; the real world is coming soon to a theater near you.