It has been decided. A shot or twelve of Kahlua added to my coffee every morning will be absolutely essential this semester.

I wish Rumors would open up for just one night only.

My favorite thing girls say: 'I wasn't thaaaaat drunk.'

Girls in Greenville either look like they're about to walk a red carpet or they're homeless.

Would it be rude or considerate for me to put in a work order for my neighbors squeaky bed?

If a guy claims he got tested for STD’s 'last week,' he is definitely lying to you. That is what they all say.

I wonder how hard it would be to convince everyone to just go tailgate. I could arrange a flag football game if necessary.

Lets play 'spot the drug dealer' in Joyner.

Some of these frat boy shorts are so small they could be considered khaki thongs.

To the girls arguing about a vibrator at the bus stop, I'm not sure if that was the time OR place.

I feel like I live a double life when I’m drunk.

Your orange tan does not hide your cellulite, ladies.

I'll say it every semester; textbook prices are a damn joke.

I walked into Speight and heard a loud fart… then realized it was just asbestos removal.

Dear dining hall: get the shrimp out of my mac and cheese. I am allergic. You almost killed me.

Pirate Rants on Wednesday’s now? So that is what the world has come to…

So far my summer has consisted of sleeping in, lying by the pool, and drinking large amounts of alcohol. Holla!

Just because it is summer outside, that doesn’t mean it needs to be summer inside. Fix the air conditioning in Bate!

Finally had sex in Joyner. I can now die happy.

Do they think we don’t get drunk in the summer? Where is the drunk bus?

I am going to assume that you are moving furniture the next time I hear your headboard slamming against the wall.

Judge my interracial relationship if you want, but he only looks white until his boxers come off.

Summer classes only allow two absences, choose your hangover days wisely.

Going downtown does not suffice as a date, although I will probably end up going home with you anyway.